The geniuses of the Carrboro Board of Aldermen (BOA) have undertaken and dealt handily with the issue of dogs indiscriminately dumping in Alderman's yards (only Alderman have the privilege of dumping in your yard), by passing yet another useless ordinance. Useless, of course, unless you are the town attorney, who gets paid by the hour to handle the mindless paperwork generated by the BOA for this landmark (so to speak) legislation.

Part of the sideshow from this wise discussion was the commentary from one of our esteemed Aldermen about the major problem of cats pooping in toddler sandboxes. Way to go Randee! Another gem from the BOA.

Rampant feline defecation is a terrible problem, one which threatens the very fiber of the town of Carrboro. Cats need to stop pooping in sandboxes, and need to stop now. Where are the owners of these felonious felines? Since Cosmo is so passionate about this issue, he has been lizard brain stemming (progressive logic you know) and come up with the following brilliant solution. Of course, Cosmo tossed aside non-progressive thinking, such as asking for personal responibility, and simple answers, such as the inexpensive removable sandbox cover shown in the photo above.

Carrboro should hire “good” historic district cats to patrol the border area around toddler sandboxes, to be sure that none of the “outlaw” northern border cats (excluding Tallyho Trail, of course) wind up pooping in the Aldermen's sandbox. Cosmo knows that the CIA has specially trained cats for just this purpose, like the Navy trained porpoises. Carrboro could afford to get some of these attack cats, if they only could manage to postpone the multi-million dollar “green bikeway” plan for a couple of thousand years…. or, of course they could raise taxes to pay for the cats, which would have the side benefit of ensuring that the people of Carrboro retain the gold medal status of tax rates in the state.

Here is a sample of the type of attack cat that is needed to stop this global catastrophe:

I think this would work nicely, don't you?”