My, my, my - how time flies! Cosmo's summer is almost over, and it feels like it only began yesterday!
This summer has certainly been an interesting one in OC NC. Here are my favorite funky chicken happenings served up duing the dog and chicken salad days of summer. What a zany place to live. Heck, I didn't even have to use extra propane to cook these beauts up!
Our beloved Carrboro BOA (except Generalissimo Herrera) attempt to rescue people parking illegally in a private apartment complex. They are reduced to limiting tow fees after receiving a lesson at the woodshed from the city attorney. (See Pulp No.1 Story.)
Our beloved Orange County Commishes pontificate on a topic of which they are utterly clueless, nuclear power. They approve hundreds of thousands of tax dollars to fight the expansion of an ”endangering” plant, fearing “spontaneous combustion” of spent fuel rods (not to be confused with “nuclear fission”). This move comes just months after rejecting the OC School Boards' budget request to repair air conditioning in schools. “Hard times” for children in school, but not for children in charge. Just where is this money coming from, hmmmmm? The hole in my wallet just got bigger. (See Pulp No. 2 Story.)
Our pusillanimous pundit patch, aka Orange Politics, the blogsite for feel good Orange Progressive Poseurs, continues to cover such hard hitting topics as “Are we unfriendly to business?”. What a hoot! A bunch of non-profit people who have obviously never had their own for profit business discussing ad nauseam the decision making processes of people they scorn and mock. A “digital hamster wheel” as it were.
Cosmo is particularly tickled by the defection of Mr. Frank Papa, local vociferous apologist and shill for Carrboro ED to Chapel Hill. (See Frank Papa Defection Story). Way to go Frank! I always knew you had it in you!
Cosmo is comforted by stumbling across a gem in the pundit patch - Morons in Chapel Hill. Thank you dear friends for feeding this site. When reading “Mo”, Cosmo has to change into rubber underwear and use a waterproof keyboard due to increased frequency of spontaneous urination and expectoration of diet coke during uncontrollable fits of laughter.
Amidst all this fun, former US Senator Jesse Helms passed away. A long time ago he recommended building a fence around Chapel Hill to keep the loonies in. I thought he was a little wacky on that one. But many years later, having been sentenced to living in Looneyville, I see he was wrong. A fence should be built around the entire county now!
Speaking of riding the bareback ranges, the Carrboro BOA doubled down on stepping on property rights by interfering with a fence installed at an apartment complex such that it blocks the Opies from taking a shortcut to town. It's too funny hearing people who actually live within walking distance of the historic business district complain about having to walk a little more. The Opies I have gandered could all stand to walk a little farther anyway. (See Pulp Additional No. 2 Story.)
Orange County continues its drive to become a safe haven for illegal immigrants, all the while shaming other nearby counties for upholding the law. (See Pulp Additional No. 1 Story.)
John Edwards, local Democratic Party “Elvis” boy and former presidential hard timber, reveals his true political philosopy, isn't “One America, Not Two Americas” but really “Where My Cokehead Party Bitches At?” (See Pulp Sleeper Story.)
Durham County sells (as in the word “profit”) its landfill gas. Orange County promises to give our gas to UNC for free. And you wonder why the Commishes can't make ends meet? They don't even get that the hen house needs cleaning.
The Funky Beat goes on….
