Fresh from a 350 mile, high cylinder density, carbonaceous trip to the mountains of NC, Cosmo had some time to ponder the state of things in his beloved Orange County. What with sooo many local Orange Progressive geniuses contributing to the local weal for the past twenty years, why Chapel Hill and Carrboro must be running like the proverbial Swiss watch.

But what's this? Dark clouds all over the horizon? You say growth is slowing? And the chickens coming home to roost are as big as condors? To my “total surprise”, with the slowing of growth, the true costs are being revealed.

First, Orange County Commissioners are struggling with a bloated budget and a 10% increase in taxes to cover it. The uproar over this increase has left them stunned and confused.

Second, Chapel Hell continues to get pounded by Councilor Matt Czajkowski and his common sense approach to governance, which has left his comrades as confused as a breastfeeding baby in a topless bar. How dare anyone challenge their lame attempt at election reform and dense development?

Third, that snaky Carrboro Boa is busy trying to protect itself from being ousted in the next election cycle through special legislation. The apologists are hard at work covering up their tracks on this one. They are so busy pledging to not buy any Smithfield Foods products (since Smithfield Foods is “so mean” to its employees) that they could only come up with a 5% budget tax increase (but a doubling of Carrboro town debt). Like the wankers they are, they are high fiving themselves because they only raised taxes 5% while eating Smithfield Food based products from their “oh so healthy” loncheras.

Fourth, Chapelboro city schools have “approved” of the 10-15% increase proposed by the BOCC. What a shocker that one is.

And, finally fifth, taking the (fruit) cake is OWASA, which has announced a 25% increase in water costs for the average Joe. (No, I'm not talking Joe Cowpies.) Forget their questionable accounting practices in not recongnizing a capital revenue and applying it to an operating expense. That's beside the point.

I knew that the frayed edges of government would show with the slowing of growth. I just didn't think the seams would all come undone at once. So, with all this “great news”, a vision dawns on Cosmo. There's either a huge leadership vacuum in Orange County or a huge vacuum in the heads of the voting citizens. I don't know who's spinning more… the local government official apologists or the those of us who don't get 10% annual pay increases with a pension and little chance of losing our job.

Where the hell are the local politicians that would reject ANY increase in budget in times like these? Where are the politicians who would make a gesture by waiving at least part of their stipend? Where are the politicians that are outraged by the increase in water costs?

At long last with the slowing of the growth machine (where as long as you keep growing you can hide true costs), the mettle of county leadership has been revealed. We have a bunch of well intentioned, trust fund supported, non-profit trained, “sounds good”, “feels good” politicians who have no concept of fiscal responsibility. To a person, no one on any of the local governing boards (save my hero Matt) has demanded any fiscal restraint. Mediocrity reigns.

Us poor bastards making a 2-3% COLA this year are going to have to eat more beans and less steak to pay for their folly. So which is it? Why do voters return to office people who produce mediocre-at-best results? Why is no one in the local steno pool questioning how these ills arose? (No, you should stop blaming it on everyone but those supposedly in charge.)

So much for fighting global warming, the methane production is going out the roof here, folks. Pass the baked beans, please!!