Cosmo hopes all of you went out and voted in the primary yesterday, May 6th. If you didn’t, then “ferme la bouche”. Cosmo doesn’t waste propane on non-voters.

In which direction should Cosmo spread his love? Where should he bust his very own dense pearls of wisdom ‘a la Cool-Aid Councilor Kleinschmidt?

Hmm… First let’s give hearty congratulations to Orange Citizens for School and Parks, the brilliant red-headed stepchild of Carrboro Mayor Mark Chilton and his go to black bagger Weaver Guy. Your propaganda campaign was spectacular. Every single local Orange Progressive political organization spread disinformation about the tax. Every single city school oriented organization spread disinformation about the tax, so desperate for full funding from anywhere. Carrboro Mayor Chilton spread misinformation like cowpies in a meadow about the tax.

Speaking of, where my cowpies at? Say it ain’t so Joe! Weaver Guy goes down in flames? Cosmo’s laughing so hard his back pressure’s leaking! Time to reset the relief valve. What a pose-a-thon that was. Congrats also go out to municipal financial genius. Chapelboro renter, non transfer tax threated and Sierra Klub Eco-Poseur Mr. Jason Baker for a snowballing job, er… “well flaming done” as I say. You carried all of one precinct in Orange County. You 'da man!

So, what happened to raising money for “Schools and Parks” or should it be “Shills and Perks”? The people of Orange County voted 2 to 1 against the tax with a heavy voter turnout. That’s worth repeating. TWO TO ONE AGAINST. WOOT WOOT WOOT!!!! That’s a major defeat for the local political machine. They pulled every trick in the book to get the tax and lost.

Hey, Mayor Chilton, what do you have to say about this item so near and dear to your heart?? You are so concerned about public schools even though you shuttle your children to a private school halfway across the county - with a public school literally across the street. If your kids don't even go to public school, why are you so worried about their funding?? Capitalists like me are totally confused.

Will you publicly ask the commishes to fund the school budgets fully since you are ”so worried” about them? Will you show up at the county budget meetings? Or, will you disappear into the woodwork like your good friend Joe Capowski? Will better schools and parks be replaced by a bleeding heart campaign for low flush toilets and non-profit business incubators? Will you help Carrboro top the 11% tax increase of Chapel Hill this year? Carrboro has to be number one in something, even if it is a number two sort of town.

Let me give you some pointers Buddy. Everyone doesn’t have a trust fund to fall back on. Orange County voters are sick and tired of paying more and more and more taxes without offsetting rises in income. Even the local real estate advertiser, Chapel Hell News, has an article about the gentrification of Carrboro.

While you worry about taco trucks, really “free marketers” and the creative economy (remember that one? really rich!), ordinary homeowners have to worry about paying for all this silliness. They want to know, how did the commishes, the Boa, and the Councilors run up a $300,000,000 capital school bill (if you include county school needs as well)? How come developers didn’t pay for this bill in impact fees?

So Mayor Dude, are you for a fully burdened impact fee of say, $15,000 to $20,000?

Oh, and congrats to the new Toilet Usufructer, Bernadette Pelissier. I am saving my dollars now to support Mr. Wolff this fall.